Fatigue, weight gain, foggy head, memory loss, and living on an emotional roller coaster. For months I though it was just the effects of 2020, back surgery and living in a COVID world with constant disappointment and quarantine. But after talking with a few close medical friends, I thought it best to take a closer look at my health. In the Fall all of these symptoms seemed random and easy to chalk up to hitting middle age and living through a pandemic. But the Lord kept prompting me that it was something more. After two rounds of blood tests and an MRI of my brain, it was clear that it was something more. As a guy who has had two back surgeries in the last decade, having an MRI was pretty common. But honestly, when they ask to scan your brain – the anxiety goes to a whole new level. I went in expecting the worst. The report came back with the diagnosis of Adenoma. More specifically, a prolactin secreting adenoma. Generally speaking, these are never considered cancerous, but they are in the family of brain tumors. The good news…it’s not life threatening. The bad news…it’s not a quick fix. Most often adenomas of this type are treated with medication rather than surgery. If it was large, they might consider surgery – but this one is less than a centimeter. The doctors say that they are grateful that I began to notice my symptoms. Often, men never come for help until it’s too late. Though 1 in 5 people will have an adenoma, most never receive treatment until they begin going blind or start to stumble when they walk because the mass has grown to a size that it’s causing pressure on the brain and optic nerves. It’s been almost three months since my diagnosis. I haven’t told many people and have not posted about it on social media – because honestly – I have been pretty apprehensive about it. Most of the symptoms of thing have been things that are not as noticeable from the outside…lack of energy, depression, and memory loss. In some ways I thought I was going a bit crazy. It’s amazing that something as small as a mustard seed could cause such a dramatic change in my ability to function. But, small things can truly make a big difference. The same is true about faith. The Lord (Adonai) is sovereign over all. And if faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains, surely an adenoma the size of a mustard seed could cause me to feel not myself. But, with the help of some great doctors, medication to that reduces the adenoma and the grace of the Lord – 2021 will be a year that my body turns a corner and this mass goes away. Though it was hard to admit I was struggling and it was hard to face a brain scan, I’m glad to know the truth. I’m glad to know there is a reason for what I am feeling. Now – let’s get rid of it and get back to living life to the full.

(Update in 2023 – I’m free of the adenoma and no sign of its return! Thank you, Jesus.)