Guest Blog written by: Jessica Brown
i’ve battled the predator before.
it was grueling and ugly.
bruised and broken, i limped from the rumble the better for it.
there was a time when i presented myself as something i’m not.
puffed up and holier-than-thou, i thought i had cornered the market on being a ‘good girl.’
because i held my head so high and nose towards the sky, i hardly noticed the thing that tripped me up.
i remember coming home disheveled and confused.
wondering how in the world i had missed it.
laying face down on the carpet of my closet, i prayed for God to strip away the pride in my heart.
because your heart is lifted up,
and you say, ‘i am a god,
i sit in the seat of gods,
in the midst of the seas,’
yet, you are a man, and not a god
though you set your heart as the heat of a god.
pride goes before the fall, right?
and who, if they aren’t honest, hasn’t battled the beast of pride?
the very next morning, the oddest thing happened.
out of nowhere, i had an allergic reaction to the mascara i had been wearing for years.
much to my surprise, my doctor told me to stop wearing all make-up for two weeks.
i vaguely remembering chuckling and asking for a work-excuse.
when you are used to hiding behind masks and pretending to be something you’re not, you shutter at the thought of nothing to conceal the whole ugliness of you.
but, His ways are for good.
regardless of how uncomfortable the process may be.
during the course of my two weeks sans-makeup, i discovered the beauty of transparency.
the art of daring to bare your soul.
the whole dirty, chaotic mess of life.
and i learned the beauty of dancing freely.
oddly, the most freeing thing we can ever do is renounce the throne of our own miniature kingdom.
for when we sit on the throne and exercise authority over our life,
we set ourselves up for failure.
there is but One king.
and He alone reigns supreme.
i praise Him for slaying the beast that threatened to destroy me.
and i pray to always remain humble before His throne.