Even If

24.  That’s the number of days it’s been since mom’s surgery.  On August 15th we took mom to MUSC in Charleston, SC to have a tumor called a SNUC removed from her head.  It was the size of a golf ball.  Two fantastic surgeons worked together for over 8 hours to do the procedure.  It was a success and she made it through the ordeal.  But recovery has been much longer than expected and she still faces weeks of radiation and chemo to kill off this cancer that they classify as stage 4.

24.  That’s how many days it’s been since mom was home sleeping in her own bed.  She spent 11 days at MUSC recovering from surgery then moved to Health South in Columbia for rehab.  After a week she began to have seizures which the doctors thought was a stoke.  So, she spent the night in the ER at Richland in Columbia.  Then back to Health South.  But then just a few days later the seizures became more than they could handle and she was transferred three days ago back to Charleston.  This is our third night sleeping on waiting room couches.  Praying, hoping and waiting.  They placed mom in a coma to help calm her brain and keep the seizures from doing damage.  Now we wait.  This won’t be a short stay.  In fact, the doctors say it could be weeks.  

24 days.  These days have been filled with sorrow, joy, gratitude, fear, frustration, worry and hope.  We want mom to be ok.  We want her to wake up, get well and come home.  But I also wonder – what if.  What if she doesn’t?  What if her days are few?  

Tonight I sat by her side and quietly sang a few of her favorite hymns.  She’s the one who taught them to me.  She taught me about my Savior and she raised me to know, love and serve Him.  She has modeled for me what it means to be a disciple of Jesus.  It’s been easy most of my life to say yes to Jesus.  Some would say my life has been almost perfect.  A great family, a wonderful education, an amazing wife, three awesome sons and a great ministry.  So, yes…it’s easy in the good times to praise Him.  But what about now?  What about in the middle of mom’s cancer?   Watching her lay there with a breathing tube, feeding tube, and wires everywhere?  What now?  Will I still praise Him EVEN IF this doesn’t turn out the way we hope?

24.  That’s not just the number of days mom has been here fighting this cancer.  24 is also the number of hours everyday that I vow to give glory to the Lord.  EVEN IF he doesn’t save us from this fire.

Read the words of this song from Mercy Me.  If you’re going through a fire of you’re own, may it bring hope to you too.  Know that He’s with you.  Just like he was there in the furnace with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. 

——

Even If:

They say sometimes you win some Sometimes you lose some. And right now, right now I’m losing bad. I’ve stood on this stage night after night Reminding the broken it’ll be alright But right now, oh right now I just can’t.

It’s easy to sing when there’s nothing to bring me down. But what will I say when I’m held to the flame like I am right now.

I know You’re able and I know You can save through the fire with Your mighty hand.

But even if You don’t – My hope is You alone!

They say it only takes a little faith to move a mountain. Well good thing a little faith is all I have, right now. But God, when You choose to leave mountains unmovable oh give me the strength to be able to sing…

It is well with my soul!

I know You’re able and I know You can save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t – My hope is You alone!

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt would all go away if You’d just say the word.

But even if You don’t – My hope is You alone

You’ve been faithful, you’ve been good all of my days.  Jesus, I will cling to You come what may. ‘Cause I know You’re able I know You can Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t – My hope is You alone!

I know the sorrow, I know the hurt would all go away if You’d just say the word.

But even if You don’t – My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul It is well, it is well with my soul 

——–

Thank you for praying for my mom and our family.  No matter what – as for me, my house and the Neighbors & Begg families…We will praise the Lord!  He is here…standing in this fire with her.

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2 Comments on “Even If

  1. I am praying for your entire family. Latrell

    On Fri, Sep 8, 2017 at 2:31 AM, Nathan Neighbors wrote:

    > Nathan Neighbors posted: “24. That’s the number of days it’s been since > mom’s surgery. On August 15th we took mom to MUSC in Charleston, SC to > have a tumor called a SNUC removed from her head. It was the size of a > golf ball. Two fantastic surgeons worked to” >

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